Remember the uncomfortable conversation your parents had with you as a young teenager about growing up? Now here’s the irony, the roles have reversed and now it’s your turn to have a sensitive discussion with them. This time though, you’re the one gently suggesting that your aging parents think about downsizing.
Helping parents downsize isn’t just about the nuts and bolts of physically moving possessions out of their home, it’s about memories, milestones and navigating change respectfully. Sometimes we as adult children notice things before our parents do … things like decreased mobility, safety issues and areas of the home that no longer are easy to manage with decades of
possessions. The best time for your mom and dad to downsize is when they can make clear and thoughtful decisions. Where to start?
Start gently and early. Timing is everything!
Bring up downsizing as a future option and not an urgent need. Offer an example of a friend whose parents chose to downsize and how they went about it and how that experience was for them.
Listen, listen and listen again. Give them opportunity to express their thoughts and concerns. No decisions need to be made right now. Remember your parents are adults and the decision has to be their own to downsize. The whole goal of bringing up the topic of downsizing with your mom and dad is to plant the seed of an idea and let it grow on its own.
When my dad got his terminal diagnosis, he planted the seed with my mom that maintaining their family home would be a lot of work on her own. Weeks later he was gone. But that seed took hold and over the course of the next year my mom quietly made decisions to downsize, buy a condo and much more. We were very fortunate our mother was able to independently decide and carry out all these plans, but each adult child’s story is different.
Consider talking with your parents today and planting that seed, because we’re doing it from a place of love.
